- Category Archives Technology
Use this for your Technology related posts or pages
Bob went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with normal results.
The Doctor said, “Bob, everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with yourself, and do you have a good relationship with your God?”
Bob replied, “God and me are very close. He knows I have poor eyesight and I still do a little drinkin, so he’s fixed it so that when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom (poof!) the light goes on when I pee, and then (poof!) the light goes off when I’m done.”
“Wow,” commented the doctor, “that’s incredible!”
A little later in the day the doctor called Bobs ol lady,” he said, “Bob is just fine. Physically he’s great, but I had to call because I’m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and (poof!) the light goes on in the bathroom, and then (poof!) the light goes off?”
She exclaimed, Bob still parties like a kid, but lately “The old fool’s been peeing in the refrigerator!”
A Story Of One IOMC:
The story of the real IOMC Members…… Anonymous contributor for fear of his life.
Alot of people on here like to hate on the club Iron Order. They make fun of it and say that it is fake. I thought I would take a moment to tell about my time as an Iron Order Member.
A couple years ago I decided I wanted to get into the club life so after approaching several people I found out that the baddest and the best club was the IO. I won’t bore you with the details but as time went on I became a prospect. Being a prospect was hard, it was hard to learn how to ride a motorcycle with shorts on, I also had a real hard time finding black converse all stars, in my size, in the mens section of shoe departments. Probably the hardest part of all was learning how to bend my cap bill up. For years I had worn my cap like a normal person and I always thought bending the bill up would be stupid. But as I looked myself over in the mirror in my leather cut with jean shorts on and my red converse all stars and hat bill flipped up I realized…I looked like one of the coolest mothers on the planet.
I will say this to all those people who have never been in the “club” life, it is extremely grueling and takes a toll on your body. We were riding our bikes 1 sometimes even 2 times per week for minutes at a time. I remember one week where I bet we put 20 miles on our bikes. Don’t ask us how we made it through that but I guess we are just tougher then you “wanna be bikers”.
HOW I EARNED MY PATCH
We were at a rally when a member of one of the “big” clubs made fun of one members under bite and called another member sweet cheeks. Well after they dried their tears and took their naps we decided it was time to go to war the “big boys”. Later that night I went over to the members house to seek some revenge. I got out of the car (we don’t ride our bikes after dark) locked and loaded and ready to fire. I began to fire off rounds of toilet paper into the trees in that front yard. By the time I was done you couldn’t even see the house for all the toilet paper in the trees. To top it all off I went to the front door rang the doorbell and took off running. I can only imagine his face to answer the door and find out there was nobody there. As I was on my way back to the clubhouse (which was really a treehouse in the back of our Prez’s Moms yard) it hit me that I had just pulled off the most dangerous and violent act in the history of the club.
By the time I got back to the clubhouse (treehouse) the rest of the club was already on high alert. Our security around the clubhouse was no joke we had guard kittens and constantly filled water balloons and super soakers ready to soak any unwanted guest. The guard kittens were meowing ferociously and one of the club members didn’t immdeiately recognize me and almost threw a water baloon at me. As I went in to the clubhouse everyone was doing our club cheer they gave me my patches and showered me with what I thought was motor oil. I later found it was capri sun, grape juice, and appletinis. I had made it I WAS AN IRON ORDER.
Over the next few months life moved at breakneck speed. I was in constant trouble with the law (multiple parking violations, and was ssshhhed by a librarian on several occasions). We were in constant violent gang wars with rival clubs. The danger was just becoming too much I was burnt out on rolling peoples houses and egging peoples bikes. One night at a bar we got into a huge silly string fight with The Galloping Ponies and I got hit in the eye with some silly string and it itched for days I knew then I had to get out or I was going to wind up with something like a scraped knee or worse dead. I told the club I was done and turned in my cut. I knew it wouldn’t be that easy that i was going to be “beat out”. Little did I know that literally meant being beaten. I was scared they would kill me and they almost did. They held me down and hit me with pillows and tickled me until I peed my shorts. I thought my skin was going to rip because they were scrubbing my back really hard with water and soap to remove my temporary Iron Order tatoo. I was lucky to get out alive and since then I have never looked back.
So for all you wanna bees that hate on things you don’t understand you might wanna watch your mouth before you end up with a yard full of tp or a kick me sign on your back. If you got any questions about the club just ask I will give you a straight answer. but homies, do not say my club is fake I am living proof that it is real.
ATTENTION MOTORCYCLISTS:Here is the latest from ABATE of California on the pending Lane Sharing Bill AB 51. You are strongly urged to contact the members of the California State Senate Appropriations Committee to urge their support. If you live in their district even better, go to their WEB site and leave your message there. I’ll give you the list with the contacts then the sample letter and below that will be my recommended note. It is of great importance that we get this done, DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
June 22, 2016
Hello ABATE member!
On Monday, June 27th, AB51 (lane splitting bill) will be heard in the Senate Appropriations Committee. ABATE is asking all members to email and / or call each of the below members of that committee and ask them to support the bill. I have also attached a sample letter / email that you can reference when sending your emails.
Senator Richard Lara – Chairman firstname.lastname@example.org 916-651-4033
Senator Patricia Bates – Vice-chair email@example.com 916-651-4036
Senator Jim Beall – firstname.lastname@example.org 916-651-4015
Senator Jerry Hill – email@example.com 916-651-4013
Senator Mike McGuire – firstname.lastname@example.org 916-651-4002
Senator Tony Mendoza – email@example.com 916-651-4032
Senator Jim Nielsen – firstname.lastname@example.org 916-651-4004
June 22, 2016
Honorable Senator _______
California Senate Appropriations Committee
I am writing to inform you of my support of AB51 (Lane Splitting: Educational Guidelines), which will allow for the development of educational guidelines on safe lane splitting practices. AB51 will be heard in the Senate Appropriations Committee on Monday, June 27th
California law is silent on lane splitting. Since current law does not explicitly prohibit it, lane splitting is an accepted practice. Currently, there are no guidelines or safety standards to guide drivers on how to safely maneuver motorcycles when lane splitting.
The California Highway Patrol (CHP), with the help of a diverse set of stakeholders (including ABATE of California), drafted a set of guidelines and posted them on CHP’s website. However, a discrepancy as to whether or not these guidelines were underground regulations forced CHP to pull the guidelines from its websites. As a result, CHP had to curtail all education and outreach efforts on lane splitting.
In recognizing the many benefits lane splitting can provide to California motorcyclists’ safety and our overly congested roads, AB 51will codify lane splitting and provide clarity in statute by stating that the California Highway Patrol; with input from the Department of Motor Vehicles, the Department of Transportation, the Office of Traffic Safety and our motorcycle safety organization, has authority to develop educational guidelines on lane splitting.
AB 51 will keep our roads safer and our drivers better educated. I support AB51 and look forward to working with you to ensure its passage.
The increase in safety and lives saved by passing this bill forward far outweigh the minor expenses that will be incurred by its’ implementation. I encourage you to support AB51 as written and support the benefits listed above.
You are about to vote on some legislation that is very important to me. AB 51 the Lane Sharing Bill. I would like to be represented by a YES vote on this piece of common sense Legislation.
Thank You, John Q. Taxpayer
AGAIN DO IT or LOOSE IT